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RelationshipsRelationships Research has shown that it is being in a loving trusting relationship which allows for individual autonomy, competence, and self-esteem that brings people the greatest happiness. Having a trusted person who understands and listens is essential for all of us, regardless of age! Relationships and Stress! While relationships are critical to happiness, they can be stressful! What are the reasons for stress in a relationship? There are a number of possible factors, but one of the key factors is being in a troubled relationship. Specifically, being in a relationship that is out of balance in the area of emotional give-and-take. No relationship is 50%-50% all the time, however a healthy relationship should approximate 50%-50% over time. One of the major causes of relationships being out of balance is having a partner who has a troubled personality, or strong traits of a personality disorder. Three of the more problematic personality disorders are:
Statistical analysis of clinical data has shown that there are more females with BPD and more males with NPD. Of course, there are men with BPD and women with NPD. Persons with BPD or NPD have a lack of true empathy, critically important in an ongoing healthy relationship, and have a strong tendency to manipulate others for their own benefit. Over time, this often leads to the "normal" partner feeling emotionally drained, resentful, helpless, and at times, depressed. Below you will see a synopsis of both BPD, NPD and Dependent Personality Disorder. If you think that you are involved in a relationship with someone with one of these disorders, you may want to seek help from a mental health professional. Personality Disorders in Relationships As stated above, people with personality disorders are often very difficult to be involved with in an ongoing relationship. This is especially true of people with a Borderline Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Dependent Personality Disorder. Borderline Personality Disorder People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments. People with BPD exhibit other impulsive behaviors, such as excessive spending, binge eating and risky sex. BPD often occurs together with other psychiatric problems, particularly bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, substance abuse, and other personality disorders. Narcissistic Personality Disorder People with NPD often have significant difficulties in interpersonal relationships. While they can be very charming and witty, their underlying self-centeredness eventually manifests itself. Symptoms of NPD, which often begin in adolescents or early adulthood, and include a sense of grandiosity (fantasized or actual), a strong need for admiration from others, and lack of true empathy (a most troubling symptom in an ongoing relationship.) Dependent Personality Disorder People with Dependent Personality Disorders (DPD) often have significant difficulties in ongoing relationships. They often become clingy and dependent and fear abandonment. This relative lack of healthy autonomy leads to an abnormal need for reassurance. Just like relationships with a person with a BPD or NPD, relationships with a person with DID are often out of balance. Over time, these relationships tend leave the "normal" partner feeling drained, resentful and, at times, depressed. Check out our Forums or Blog Site to see how others are dealing with similar issues.
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